Friday, April 28, 2017

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Finding a Transgender Friendly Place

Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with  complex answers I can't even follow.

Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there."

I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!"

Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules:

One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.  The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place.  They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that!

Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant.  You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime.

Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points:

1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start.
2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation.  You will indeed make a good impression.
3.-Go Back.  Maybe not common sense but a good point.  If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations.
4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Last but certainly not least, rest room and dressing room usage.

Very iffy and very sensitive.  Too big of a subject to be covered here except to say I do have one definite standard. When I'm a great regular customer in the places I go-I can get my restroom privileges. Employees and managers get used to me using the women's room.  BUT any "civilian" (not an employee) can change that in an instant with a complaint.  The last thing I want to do is cause a scene. Years ago a male manager at one of my regular haunts revoked my rest room card.  I simply went up the street and established myself at a competitor.  About 6 months later, he got fired and a few of the employees who were still there came and invited me back. How nice was that?

Finally, YOU have the power to enable a place to become transgender friendly.  Just don't go dressing all crazy, acting like an idiot and being a poor citizen. You will just ruin it for all of us.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Pioneer Trans Women?

I have often wondered what transgender women did way back in the day who were crossing the country in covered wagons etc. Of course in higher society, men dressed in wigs etc, anyhow, but still I am sure had no doubt they were men (except in a couple well known historical cases...Chevalier d'Eon.)


Not unlike the guy at the meeting the other night who criticized the trans women in the room for wearing jeans. And, Connie added:

Hey, pioneer women wore dresses to do their gardening! :-)

"As for the proudly closeted cross dresser, he may not wear pants when he's alone, but he probably does pant...and maybe groan a little. Really, though, it's the same mindset as those bowling cross dressers I talked about before. When it's time to be a woman for them, then there is no room for ambiguity. They relish the dichotomy of it all. It didn't take long for me, after being around this group, to know that I did not identify with them. That doesn't make me better, nor should any of them think that they are better than I. It's sad that there are some in both camps who think their way is the right way, especially when we've all been placed under the same umbrella.

Sorry about the time constraints that will keep you from your manicure. Enjoy the symposium, but, for gosh sake, at least brush the garden dirt out from beneath your nails before you go! (otherwise, as your meeting friend says, you might as well go dressed as a man:-) "

I guess having dirt under my nails would be one way to really "butch it up!" 

Plus, I will be interested to see the age/gender mix at the symposium. In the past when I have went, there has been a heavy representation of trans guys and younger ones at that. 

Either Friday night when we go to the mixer and out on the town, I might wear a long skirt and matching top I have or save it for Saturday. 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Cross Port

Cross Port is an organization in Cincinnati, Ohio made up of transgender/crossdresser type peeps. When I can, I go to the bi-monthly meetings for the camaraderie or even entertainment. If you remember a month or so ago, a wife of a cross dresser dressed to the nines made her unhappy visit well known and hasn't been back since. (To my knowledge.) The meeting is pretty much a no frills event as there are other socials, etc.

As you Cyrsti Condo regulars know, I am pretty much a no frills girl, so, as dressed up as I will get will be this weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium.  So Monday I was wearing what I call a lacy smock top of sorts, jeans and tennis shoes. I blend right in at the meetings as almost all the trans women wear similar outfits, although this meeting some new sandals and colorful toes made their appearance.

Speaking of colorful nails, thanks to Jeni and Connie for their continuing input on rather to get acrylic nails, mine polished or even the stick on variety I had forgotten from my past. It all looks like a mute point now anyhow as time restraints have stepped in, plus the work of putting in a garden.

Back to the meeting. There is one guy who shows up quite a bit loudly proclaiming he is a closeted cross dresser and always will be. I have no problem with any of that until he lapses into a comment about why would any of us being wearing jeans. Might as well come dressed as a man. I wasn't too shocked because I used to hear it years ago when I wore slacks to transvestite mixers.

The answer of course is very simple, the great majority of the transgender women in the room weren't wearing jeans to feel like men any more than cis women do. We do it to blend, for utilitarian reasons or for comfort. I suppose I could wear some sort of a dress to work in the garden but it would be tough.

I suppose too, the ability to wear pants is something which comes with the trans territory, the longer we are out.

Maybe it's earned? Just like cis women have the ability to judge where they are going and dress accordingly.

A Life in Gender Flux